Ep - 27: how being kind to ourselves can transform our parenting with Dr Kristin Neff

In this particularly insightful episode, I am joined by Dr. Kristin Neff PHD to explore self-compassion, and how we can use this practice to radically improve our parenting and relationships with our children, as well as our relationship with ourselves.
Kristin is a world renowned psychologist, and the world’s leading expert on self-compassion, as well as being the very first person to operationally define self-compassion. She had a hugely successful and well-received Ted Talk, and has written numerous books on the topic.

As Mums we will all recognise how hard we can be ourselves, whilst at the same time being so kind and compassionate to others, so talking with Kristin was particularly enlightening, as she explains how this one practice can have a really significant positive effect on your life and parenting.

What we cover:
- How Kristin became interested in self-compassion, and what motivated her to dedicate her
life’s work to understanding and developing this practice.

- What self-compassion really is, why it isn’t self-indulgent or self-pitying, and how the more
we are able to be kind to ourselves, the more other people, including children, can benefit.

- How ‘mirror neurons’ act in a way that being self-compassionate will have a directly positive
effect on your child, and how mums don’t always give themselves permission to be kind to
themselves, but it’s the very best thing to do for you and your child.

- Kristen openly and honestly describes how she used self-compassionate practice to
successfully overcome an incredibly challenging situation with her autistic son, all on a
transatlantic flight!

- Kristin fully addresses the main blocks to self-compassionate practice that many people
have, and explains why self-compassion is the polar opposite of selfishness.

Timestamps
1.0 Introduction to the episode
4.50 What self-compassion is and what it means to Kristin
7.17 Kristin’s path to discovering self-compassion through meditation and Buddhist teachings
8.54 Why we don’t always have the innate ability to be kind to ourselves
13.00 How mother’s have access to the care based system and the importance of giving ourselves
permission to use it with ourselves.
13.35 The main blocks people have to adopting self-compassion and how research shows all these
to be misconceptions.

15.05 Why it’s not just what you face in life, but how you relate to yourself when times are
difficult, that’s important.
17.40 How being a self-compassionate parent can directly influence your parenting
19.27 Why it’s not selfish to give yourself compassion.
21.30 ‘Mirror neurons’ and how children pick up on our mind-state and how self-compassion can
directly benefit our children
24.00 The inherently reciprocal nature of self-compassion
26.20 How to overcome blocks you may encounter when becoming self-compassionate
29.10 Kristin’s self-compassionate workbook
31:14 Exercises to develop your own self-compassion practice.
38.19 Why self-compassion is not self-pity
42:28 Kristin’s one gift to all the mothers in the world.

For more on Dr Kristin Neff, please see;
self-compassion.org/
The fantastic books she has authored including ‘Self compassion’
@self_compassion on twitter
Kristin’s inspirational Tedx Talks at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4