Ep. 81 Mark Wolynn - How to heal inherited family trauma and not pass it on

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Traumatic experiences can have long-lasting effects. They can even transcend generations. Inherited generational trauma may be the reason why you experience negative emotions and behaviours you cannot explain. However, understanding the nature of family trauma can empower you to start your path towards healing.

In this week’s episode, Mark Wolynn shares his insights on how the effects of painful experiences can be passed down to children. He teaches ways to recognise the signs of inherited family trauma, as well as how to counteract its effects. By having a deeper understanding of ourselves and our families, people can achieve peace and prevent their children from inheriting the trauma.

You can download a full transcript of this week’s episode here.

As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so once you’ve listened to the episode, come and join me there.

Key Takeaways From this Episode:

Generational Trauma:

• Traumatic events follow a cycle where younger generations experience similar traumatic experiences with their parents or grandparents. (10:17)

• Particular milestones, such as marriage or the birth of your first child, can act as triggers. (11:14)

• Traumatic events can leave lasting impressions, such as fear of harming your child, that gets passed down generations. (13:22)

• Like a computer, we already have an integrated operating system that contains the fallout from past family trauma. (16:28)

Connecting Your Experiences to Past Trauma:

• Recognising generational trauma is difficult since families tend to keep secrets. (15:17)

• However, red flags include unusual emotions and behaviours inconsistent with your personal history. (16:46)

• Struggles in dealing with money, success, or relationships can come from family histories. (15:29)

Trauma Language:

• Trauma leaves crumbs that can help people trace the origin of their current mental state. (17:25)

• The brain stores traumatic experiences as fragments of information, many of which are hard to detect consciously. (18:13)

• The exact details of these experiences are challenging to put into words, so they manifest mostly through nonverbal behaviour. (18:38)

Reversing Trauma Symptoms:

• Painful experiences alter gene expression, allowing traumatic fallout to affect many generations. (21:06)

• However, research shows that mice who live in positive, low-stress environments show fewer changes in gene expression related to stress. (21:10)

• Humans also benefit from exposure to positive experiences, which can reverse the effects of inherited trauma and prevent further transmission. (22:10)

• People need to regularly practise de-stressing techniques since trauma reversal needs sustained action to be effective. (22:42)

On Healing Family Relationships:

• Healing is an inner movement, and recovery is a continuous process. (24:47)

• You can start healing even if you still don’t have a good relationship with your family. (25:00)

• A proper technique is to take a photograph of the person, imagine an ideal version of the person, and communicate with it, allowing you to express your thoughts. (25:31)

• Another method is to practise gratitude, which permits you to let go of your pent-up anger and resentment. (29:49)

Concrete Steps for Healing Family Trauma:

• Become a trauma detective; reflect and be on the lookout for the verbal and nonverbal cues of trauma. (33:22)

• Trace the trauma back into your family and find where things went south. (33:28)

• Finally, develop a healing mindset to allow you to decouple from inherited trauma. (33:36)

• It's beneficial to have someone who can help double-check ourselves, witness our work, and give feedback. (34:58)

About Mark

Mark Wolynn is the director of several institutes in California that specialise in inherited family trauma. He is a Psychology and English graduate who specialises in anxiety, depression, and obsessive disorders. His written work on trauma, IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, won the 2016 Silver Nautilus Book Award for psychology. 

Visit Mark’s website to understand more about his work and current projects.