Ep. 94 Can motherhood really be an awakening with Nehanda Truscott-Reid

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This week I sat down for a lovely conversation with Nehanda Truscott-Reid. Nehanda is a holistic wellness coach for women and she has an incredibly inspiring story. Nehanda was raised by a single mother on an estate in Brixton in South London. Everywhere she looked, she was surrounded by stories of motherhood linked to pain, sacrifice and struggle. 

Through some inspiring inner work, Nehanda reprogrammed her views around motherhood and her life’s work is to help others do the same.

We had a really inspiring, wide-ranging conversation. Here’s some of what we talk about:

  • Nehanda’s struggles to conceive and how she reframed that

  • How she was able to conceive naturally

  • The importance of values in parenting - and how they can change as we become parents

  • Conscious parenting

  • The parent we thought we’d be vs the parents we actually are – and how to navigate that gap

  • How to handle the lack of control we have as parents, specifically around who our children are 

One of the biggest things I took from our conversation is that how we are is how we will parent – so the biggest gift we can give our children is to work on our own stuff - our triggers, our pain and our anxieties.

I hope you enjoy this week’s episode – and if you did, please do share it with a friend who would find it helpful too. As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so once you’ve listened to the episode, come and join me there.

Download a transcript of this week’s episode here.

Key Takeaways from This Week’s Episode

Nehanda’s Motherhood Awakening:

  • It started with her intentional conception. She struggled to conceive, and it didn’t happen the way she expected. (04:01)

  • She started to consult resources on self-development. (04:50)

  • People tend to look externally for a solution, but it actually starts within. Hers began in deep reflection and introspection. (5:46)

How to Conceive Naturally:

  • It began with getting in touch with her womb and her cycle. (07:07)

  • She started to heal suppressed ideas and deeply ingrained beliefs about her body. (07:33)

  • Every action needs to become intentional. You must manifest in every moment that you are ready to have a child. (09:18)

  • Focus on what you can do with yourself first. If it does not work, that’s when you will need intervention. (10:25)

Overcoming the Challenges:

  • Nehanda brings women from a state of desperation into a space of kindness, safety, security and ease. (11:05)

  • Moving from a place of desperation varies with women. That’s why it is important to do self-inquiry and find the main source of resistance. (11:49)

  • It is important to reframe our thinking. Women who are trying to conceive need to go back to a space of peace and wholeness. (13:28)

  • Part of the process is coming to peace with whatever the outcome is. (14:15)

  • We need to slow things down and clear some of the noise in the mental, spiritual and emotional levels to be intentional with our actions and perspective. (16:12)

The Importance of Surrender:

  • Surrendering breaks our everyday approach to life. Control is a conditioned response that we have been trained to have. (17:23)

  • If we are always in controlled situations, it suppresses our natural responses and emotions. It does not serve us as people and as mothers. (17:38)

Triggers and Conscious Parenting:

  • A trigger is a visceral reaction that you feel in your body when your child has said or done that, in your worldview, is not right. (23:16)

  • Conscious parenting tells us to look at why we are triggered. (23:56)

  • As a parent, it is vital to develop tools to address triggers. Talk it out with your children and give them some tools to handle them. (24:48)

  • We can only deal with triggers if we’re in our adult place. (25:32)

Being in a Space of Wholeness and Alignment:

  • It starts with slowing down and reprioritizing our life. (27:45)

  • It is necessary to look at the activities that you have been doing and identify if you are an energy giver or energy taker. (28:06)

  • Identify the things that you need to let go. (28:30)

  • Knowing our priorities will enable us to create a bond on what is really important. (28:49)

  • Always start with yourself and do the inner work. (29:59)

How to Get Away from a Patriarchal Mindset

  • We need to realize that above everything, the most important and integral aspect of our lives is our own health and wellbeing. (35:24)

  • Our children will only know what self-esteem and self-love look like if they learn it from someone. We can teach these to our children in simple ways. (35:51)

  • We are not supposed to be productive 24/7, 365 days in a year. We need to show our children how to honour our rhythms and boundaries. (37:28)

  • By instilling awareness in our children, they will learn that their feelings are important. (38:06)

  • ‘Being’ is the most important thing. Articulating why you do or do not do something is a way to instil these important values to our children. (39:19)

Perceiving Time:

  • Normally, we're tied to systems that rely on us to show up and be there at a particular time. (44:14)

  • Such a situation needs to be disrupted for our children to be in their own element and flow. (44:41)

  • We need to be conscious of how our children perceive time and teach them how to slow down. (45:09)

  • Thank your child for coming to love you. (40:48)

How to Be a Conscious Parent:

  • We should not resist the mothering aspect. Your children are the most important thing, and the things that you do can be an extension. (46:45)

  • Know how you can be present as much as possible. (47:52)

  • Try to disrupt the usual routine to allow our children to process things and not be in a rush. (48:54)

  • We need to encourage our children to choose how they should feel. (52:00)

Spirituality in Motherhood:

  • Mothering presently and consciously is spiritual work. (53:45)

  • We are spirit. We are spirits manifested in physical form. (54:05)

  • We need to live in a way that we honour our spirit and our present reality. (54:33)

About Nehanda

Nehanda Truscott-Reid is a mother, speaker, writer, and holistic wellness coach helping women on the sacred path of conscious motherhood.

To learn more about Nehanda’s work, connect with her on Instagram or Twitter.

Resources:

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