Ep. 103 - Be the Change with Candice Brathwaite

Mindset
Written By

[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/832747099" params="color=#ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true" width="100%" height="166" iframe="true" /]

This week, I’m speaking with Candice Braithwaite, who is an absolute force and such a strong voice in the parenting and motherhood arena.

Candice is an activist, influencer and the founder of Make Motherhood Diverse, an online initiative aiming to encourage a more representative and diverse depiction of motherhood in the media. Her new brand book, ‘I’m Not Your Baby Mother’ has just been released and I was lucky enough to speak with her on the publication date. And it’s an incredible book - part memoir, part manifesto about black motherhood - it’s so good in fact, I’ve already read it twice!

We speak about Candice’s childhood, her traumas and how she found herself in this activist role. We also talk about spirituality and how Candice’s spiritual practice really help to keep her grounded when things get pretty intense around her – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode.

We had such a great conversation and I think you’re going to love hearing from Candice. I hope you enjoy the episode.

As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram so do hop over and let us know what you thought.

You can download a transcript of this week’s episode here.

Key takeaways from this week’s episode:

I Am Not Your Baby Mother:

  • The book revolves around the bottomless pit of conversation and communication about class. (05:35)

Living Off the Truth:

  • Candice is the black sheep of her family on both sides because she ‘rocks the boat too much’. (07:00)

  • Not everyone can afford to live off their truth, and not everyone is ready for it. (07:51)

  • Her dad and maternal grandfather, however, supported her work and activism. (08:35)

  • People online have stood up for her and bridged the gap of her parents’ absence. (09:39)

Influencing Other Women:

  • When people read her book, they will be ready to admit they're in traumatic relationships. (10:53)

  • Knowing she can empower her readers to make that choice is a legacy for Candice. (11:09)

The Resistance of Becoming a Mother:

  • She was resistant to motherhood because she spent so much of her childhood mothering people. (12:28)

  • She didn’t want to write the book just because everybody is doing it. (13:11)

From Childhood to Motherhood:

  • While the idea that mothers should be shielding their kids from traumatic things is universal, Candice never had that privilege. (14:52)

  • Candice’s childhood revolved around taking care of her brother because her mother was in a mental health institution. (15:01)

  • When she had kids, she knew it wasn’t how motherhood should be done. (15:25)

The Bugaboo Story:

  • Listen to the full episode to hear Candice's experience of racism while getting a second-hand bugaboo. (18:20)

  • People will look at you at mummy blogger events from head to foot to determine if you're worth their time. (19:21)

  • It's okay not to be a part of circles that aren't accepting of you. (20:36)

The Mummy Blogging Arena:

  • Candice said she’s an ‘annoyance’ to the arena because she points out situations no one questions. (21:31)

  • The finance of this industry is not split fairly and overlooks many women. (23:23)

  • Listen to the full episode to know Candice's experience of being trolled to stop her career. (23:54)

  • Elders teach young girls early on to override situations just to please people. (26:10)

The Pyramid Analogy:

  • White men are at the very top. (27:15)

  • White women are the voices apart from black or other. (27:20)

  • Black men are at the very bottom of the pyramid. (27:28)

  • Black women are the stilts holding the pyramid up in the soil. (27:31)

Sending Money Home:

  • Black teens go out into the workforce as a cultural duty to support their family back home. (31:02)

  • Being in service amplifies the lack of space for true pleasure and joy for black women when it comes to money. (34:17)

Mental Health in Black Communities:

  • The only place for mental health conversations in black communities is in a church with a pastor or a deacon. (35:32)

  • Candice believes Christianity was used as a stronghold to trick black people into slavery. (36:42)

Spiritual Practice:

  • Not having an hour to communicate with how she feels without judgment impacts her entire week. (39:07)

  • It’s a legacy to be in a space, spiritually and mentally, where you can provide kids with tools to speak up. (41:32)

Resources mentioned in this episode

About Candice

Candice Brathwaite is an influencer, blogger and author. She is also the founder of Make Motherhood Diverse, an online initiative aiming to encourage an accurate and diverse depiction of motherhood in the media.

You can reach Candice through her website and Twitter. You can learn more about Make Motherhood Diverse on their website and follow them on Instagram.

Previous

Ep. 104 - How to heal your relationship with your mother with Brooke Lightstone
Next

Ep. 102 - How to be a model, not a martyr with Glennon Doyle