Ep. 110 - How to reset with Zoe Blaskey, Dr. Nneka Ikeogu and Dr. Emma Svanberg

Motherhood ToolkitWorklife juggle
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Welcome to this week’s podcast, which is actually the last one this season, as we’ll be taking a break through the month of August and re-releasing some of our favourite past episodes.

We’ve got an extra special episode for you this week, as I’m joined by Dr. Nneka Ikeogu and Dr. Emma Svanberg to talk about how to reset following the Covid-19 pandemic and lockdown.

Dr. Nneka Ikeogu is one of my closest friends from University, and the best Child Psychologist that I know. She’s also the co-founder of Mellownest, a fantastic company which helps parents to take a more mindful approach to parenthood.

You might already know Dr. Emma Svanberg – she’s joined us on the podcast before and is known as ‘The Mumologist’. Emma is a Clinical Psychologist, supporting mums through every stage of their parenting journey.

We’re teaming up in this episode to talk about why exactly this time has been so challenging for parents, what support your children might need and how to give that to them – and, how you and your family can ‘reset’ after this experience.

AND – I’m really excited to share that today is the launch day for my brand new online workshop called The Family Reset Plan, which the three of us also teach together!

The Family Reset Plan is a virtual workshop, made up of five modules, taught through videos, a workbook and with an audio version, too. You’ll learn how to handle stress, take better care of yourself, how to emotionally support your children and manage the changes and transitions we’re all going through. Plus, you’ll also learn how to re-shape yours and your families’ future.

The Plan is available for just £25, as I really wanted to make it accessible to as many parents and families as possible. I’m really proud of what the three of us have created and I can’t wait to share it with you. You’ll learn a bit more about the workshop in the episode - and you can also find all the details over at www.familyresetplan.co.uk.

I hope you enjoy this week’s episode - and I hope you enjoy The Family Reset Plan! I’d love to hear what you think - please do get in touch and let me know.

You can download a transcript of this week’s episode here.

Key takeaway’s from this week’s episode:

Going on a Holiday Amid the Pandemic:

  • There are many questions asked when deciding about going on a holiday amid the pandemic. (08:34)

  • The ambiguity of guidelines brings about fear and anxiety. (09:51)

  • There may be internal conflicts when it comes to visiting family members. Some may still feel uncomfortable and anxious about going out or seeing other people. (10:15)

Navigating Through the Pandemic as a Family:

  • Families should discuss what the pandemic means to them and how to navigate through it as individuals and a unit. (11:46)

  • Getting information from reliable sources and not just reading everything off from social media can reduce anxiety. (12:17)

  • Think about and consider what will help the family feel contained and safe. (13:14)

Pausing in the Moment:

  • Dr Emma shares about her technique of pausing in the moment, which is part of her module in the Family Reset Plan. (14:51)

  • It is healthy to pause in the moment to reduce stress, especially around kids. (15:29)

  • This technique is simple but effective. (16:39)

Anxiety in Children Brought by the Pandemic:

  • Dr Nneka shares how several parents are concerned about the changes in their children’s behaviours. (19:38)

  • Parents are trying to understand the way children are feeling about the whole situation. (20:07)

  • Parents should learn how to help their children process their emotions and ease their anxieties. (21:47)

  • A child’s behaviour is their way to communicate what they are feeling or experiencing. (22:36)

  • Dr Emma points out that it can be stressful to tolerate a child’s behaviour if the parent is also stressed out. It is crucial to contain your feelings to deal with children better. (24:01)

Dealing with Tantrums:

  • The Family Reset Plan provides a script that can help parents manage their children’s tantrums. (25:13)

  • The key to helping children with tantrums is to make them feel heard and understood. (25:29)

  • These are things the current generation of parents weren’t taught to deal with, so it can be difficult for them to manage their feelings when they handle their child’s tantrums. (26:08)

  • Helping children process their own emotions is a conscious effort. (26:58)

Importance of Healthy Parenting:

  • Dr Nneka wants parents to realise that they are the ones laying the foundations for their children. (29:28)

  • If there is anything parents should want for their children when they grow up, it has to be a strong foundation of emotional health and well-being. (30:17)

  • It shouldn’t just be all about success and academic achievement. Emotional health is the key to happiness. (30:45)

Schooling During the Pandemic:

  • People have different thoughts and perspectives on how to go about schooling now. (32:35)

  • It is crucial to keep up with your children’s education, but other urgent things must be dealt with now. That includes helping children manage their emotions and adjust. (34:00)

  • When it comes to making decisions about homeschooling, families should consider their values and priorities. (34:36)

A Time to Reevaluate Values:

  • This crisis is a time to reevaluate our values as parents and families. (36:26)

  • As parents, we need to assess external pressures and how it affects us and our actions. (37:39)

  • Think of your own version of success instead of depending on the external pressures of what you should be doing as a parent. (39:12)

Managing Expectations and Stress:

  • Learn how to set your own boundaries. (41:23)

  • Find what works for you as a parent and do not feel pressured about letting other people down. (42:15)

Supporting Children in Managing Stress:

  • Children may worry about the transition back to school, which may be different from what they are used to. (43:34)

  • Remember that kids are resilient. Parents simply need to help their children contain and process their big feelings. (46:22)

  • Parents have the desire to fix everything and make things better. However, you should not forget about how your children feel about the decisions and actions you take. (46:49)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

About the guests

Dr. Nneka Ikeogu is a child psychologist who specialises in educational psychology. She has been working with families and children for 10 years and is the co-founder of Mellownest. Her mission is to empower parents to approach parenting with a focus on emotions and connection. Dr. Nneka is also one of Zoe’s closest friends from university.

Dr. Emma Svanberg, also known as The Mumologist, is a chartered clinical psychologist. Her work mainly involves supporting parents through every stage of their parenting journey. She is also a published author, with works featured in The Guardian, BBC News and Marie Claire.

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