Ep 141 - A radical approach to marriage with Kaley and Nate Klemp
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It is well documented that times of dramatic societal change, like the one we are in now, can either undo relationships or strengthen them. My guests this week are married couple Kaley and Nick Klemp and they found their relationship nearly undone to the point of break-up because of power struggles they were experiencing over trying to make things fair.
So they decided to try a new approach which they call the 80/80 Marriage. The idea is that each person gives 80% as opposed to the traditional 50%, which is what they call radical generosity. It’s based on giving more than required. It’s not based on traditional gender roles or this idea of fairness.
You may be thinking I am barely able to give 50%. How can you be suggesting we give more?
I hear you on that and I do challenge them on that exact point. Their answer was fascinating.
This is a model that rather than being based on what’s best for me, asks what’s best for us. Simple but quite radical if you think about what that might mean.
I cannot wait to hear what you think about this idea. Would you be willing to give it a go? What difference do you think it might make in your marriage or any relationship?
We talk about:
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What is an 80/80 marriage?
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Why the 50/50 marriage almost destroyed their marriage
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How equality left them feeling resentful in the marriage
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What is the 80/50 hangover
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How has the Pandemic intersected with the 80/80 concept
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What does radical generosity look like in a marriage
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Letting go of the scorecard and transitioning beyond resentment
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How to balance your professional pursuits
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How their marriage feels today
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Tools that make a difference
If you have a reluctant partner, it is possible to shift that pattern.
- Nate Klemp
As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so come and join us there.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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About Kaley and Nate Klemp
Nate Klemp, PhD, is a former philosophy professor and a founding partner at Mindful. He is coauthor of Start Here, a New York Times bestselling guide to mindfulness in the real world. Nate's articles appear regularly in Inc., Fast Company, Mindful, and other leading publications. He received his BA and MA from Stanford University and his PhD from Princeton University.
Kaley Klemp is a highly sought-after executive coach. She is an experienced facilitator, specializing in building trusting and synergistic teams. She is also an Enneagram expert, TEDx speaker, and coauthor of The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership. A favorite with Young Presidents Organization (YPO) forums and chapters, Kaley has led retreats for more than 350 forums throughout the world. She received both her BA and MA from Stanford University.
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